Entscheidungsschlacht im Reichstag / Decisive Battle in the Reichstag

Mord im Reichstag, Kapitel 20/ Murder in the German Parliament, Chapter 20

Die Flugblattaktion im Bundestag scheint zunächst ein Reinfall zu sein. Dann aber rettet Leonas unerwartetes Eingreifen die Situation.

English Version

Gladiatorenkampf im Parlament

Der Parlamentsbesuch war anstrengender, als Lidia Afanasjewna gedacht hätte. Hätte sie nicht der Gedanke an ihre Flugblattaktion wachgehalten, wäre sie wahrscheinlich längt eingeschlafen.
So sehr sie sich auch bemühte, sich auf die Reden der Parlamentarier zu konzentrieren – es gelang ihr einfach nicht. Die stereotypen Betonungen, die einstudierte Aufgeregtheit, dieses Mit-dem-Finger-in-die-Luft-Hacken, als wollte man einen imaginären Gegner aufspießen, das Stakkato der Worte, kunstgerecht von beifallheischenden Pausen unterbrochen – das alles lenkte sie so sehr vom Inhalt der Reden ab, dass sie schon nach wenigen Minuten nicht mehr hätte sagen können, worüber sich der gerade abgetretene Redner eigentlich so aufgeregt hatte.
Es war, als würde sie das Geschehen hinter einer schalldichten Glaswand verfolgen, wie wenn man beim Fernsehen den Ton abdreht. Münder schnappten auf und zu, Hände umgriffen in der Haltung eines erholungsbedürftigen Geiers das Rednerpult, Haare wippten im hühnergleichen Wackelrhythmus der Köpfe.
Wenn man vom Inhalt der Reden absah, bot sich den Zuschauern zweifellos ein beeindruckendes Schauspiel. Und wie Schauspieler, dachte Lidia Afanasjewna, benahmen sich die Redner ja auch. Hinter dem Rednerpult gaben sie den Volkstribun, mit der Inbrunst eines Spartakus wetterten sie gegen ihre Gegner, die dieses Parlament, dieses Land, Europa, ja die ganze Welt an den Abgrund führen würden. Sobald sie aber die Manege verließen und wieder in der Kulisse verschwanden, tuschelten sie mit den anderen Gladiatorenmimen, als würden sie sich mit diesen im kollegialen Wettstreit darüber austauschen, wer an diesem Tag die überzeugendste Darbietung geliefert hatte.
Erstaunlich war nur, dass die Auftritte der Volksvertreterdarsteller trotz ihrer häufigen Einsätze so laienhaft wirkten. Vielleicht, überlegte Lidia Afanasjewna, sollte man sie besser erst eine Zeitlang auf die Schauspielschule schicken, ehe man ihnen das Rednerpult überließ. Auch hätte man, fand sie, die Rollenbesetzung besser einer neutralen Castingstelle überlassen sollen.
So war es ein bisschen wie bei der Kindervorstellung: Jeder wollte der edle Ritter sein, der die Prinzessin erlöst und das Reich des darbenden Königs vor dem Untergang bewahrt. Niemand bekannte sich dazu, im Grunde seines Herzens der böse Drache zu sein, der das Königreich an sich reißen möchte.

Operation „Konfettiregen“

Lidia Afanasjewna sah sich nach Igor, Julia und Leona um. Auch sie schienen ungeduldig darauf zu warten, dass Lutz sie endlich von dem Redemarathon erlöste. Aber der machte noch keine Anstalten, das Zeichen zum Beginn der Aktion zu geben. Offenbar hoffte er, dass Holger Wesel noch persönlich den Plenarsaal betreten oder dieser sich zumindest etwas mehr füllen würde.
Aber es geschah das Gegenteil: Je länger die Debatten andauerten, desto weniger Stühle waren besetzt. Und von Herrn Wesel war weiterhin nichts zu sehen.
So beugte Lutz sich schließlich zu Igor vor und raunte ihm ins Ohr: „Also dann – die Operation ‚Konfettiregen‘ kann beginnen.“
Igor nickte. Vorsichtig erhob er sich von seinem Platz und trat ans Geländer der Besuchertribüne. Dort holte er die Flugblätter, die er unter dem Hemd verstaut hatte, hervor und teilte sie in drei Stapel. Einen nach dem anderen warf er dann von unterschiedlichen Stellen des Geländers aus in den Plenarsaal.
Nun war endlich Leben in der Bude! Lidia Afanasjewna hatte den Eindruck, dass nicht nur die übrigen Zuschauer, sondern auch die verbliebenen Abgeordneten dankbar waren für die Unterbrechung des monotonen Singsangs am Rednerpult. Selbst der Parlamentarier, der gerade den Vorsänger gab, hielt nach einem kurzen Augenblick trotzigen Stotterns in seiner Rede inne.
Alle Blicke richteten sich auf den armen Igor. Standhaft, wie ein antiker Imperator, verharrte er auf seinem Feldherrnhügel. Wie erwartet dauerte es nur wenige Sekunden, bis die Hände der Saalordner sich unsanft um seine Arme legten.
„So, Bürschchen: Mitkommen!“ fuhren sie ihn an. Und als Igor sich mit einem etwas unsicher wirkenden Lächeln nach seinen Mitstreitern umsah, setzte einer von ihnen hinzu: „Warte nur! Dir wird das Lachen schon noch vergehen!“
„Ja, ich weiß“, bekannte Igor reumütig. „Ich hätte den Parlamentsschlaf nicht stören dürfen!“
Wie schlagfertig er auf einmal war, dachte Lidia Afanasjewna. Oder hatte er sich die Worte etwa vorher zurechtgelegt?
Während Igor abgeführt wurde, beobachteten die anderen gespannt das Geschehen im Plenarsaal. Leider schienen die hohen Herren und Damen sich mehr für den vermeintlichen Aufrührer als für den Grund des Aufruhrs zu interessieren. Mit lustvollem Schaudern betrachteten die Volksvertreter den Vertreter des Volkes, dieses aus dem Käfig ausgebrochene Zootier, dem sie in freier Wildbahn lieber nicht begegnen wollten. Die Flugblätter beachteten sie dagegen nur insofern, als sie immer wieder die Beine heben oder gar kurz aufstehen mussten, während die Saaldiener durch die Reihen gingen und die Überbleibsel des Konfettiregens aufsammelten.

Der Mann mit den Breitmaulfroschlippen

Alles schien umsonst gewesen zu sein. Sie hätten sich die ganze Mühe sparen können! Da aber fiel Lidia Afanasjewnas Blick auf eine jüngere Frau, die ganz vorne im Saal, unmittelbar in der Nähe des Rednerpults, gesessen hatte. Sie hatte sich von ihrem Platz erhoben und studierte, neben den Stuhlreihen stehend, aufmerksam das Flugblatt.
Auch Lutz hatte die Frau schon entdeckt. Als sie sich in Richtung Ausgang bewegte und im Begriff war, den Plenarsaal zu verlassen, nickte er den anderen kurz zu: „Los – hinterher! Wir wollen doch mal sehen, warum die Dame es plötzlich so eilig hat.“
Zu ihrer Überraschung ging die Frau nicht in Richtung der Besprechungsräume, sie zückte auch nicht ihr Smartphone, um jemandem von dem Flugblatt zu berichten, sondern schritt schnurstracks auf die Reichstagskuppel zu. Für ihre Verfolger war dies zwar insofern von Vorteil, als sie dort auch selbst Zutritt hatten. Allerdings blieb unklar, warum die Dame ausgerechnet diesen Ort so schnell erreichen wollte. Hatte ihr plötzlicher Aufbruch am Ende gar nichts mit dem Flugblatt zu tun?
Über die Rampe, die sich in der gläsernen Kuppel nach oben schlängelte, wälzte sich wie immer ein breiter Ameisenstrom von Schaulustigen. Ein idealer Ort für eine Verfolgung: Es war schlicht unmöglich zu entscheiden, wer hier wem folgte. Man musste nur aufpassen, dass man sich nicht von der beeindruckenden Aussicht über die Stadt ablenken ließ und darüber den Verfolgten aus den Augen verlor.
„Sagt mal: Wo ist eigentlich Leona abgeblieben?“ fragte Julia plötzlich.
Lidia Afanasjewna sah sich um. Tatsächlich: Von Leona war nirgends etwas zu sehen. Sie mussten sie wohl im Besucherstrom verloren haben. Aber das ließ sich jetzt auch nicht mehr ändern. Sie mussten der Dame auf den Fersen bleiben, Leona brauchten sie dafür nicht.
Nur noch ein paar Meter, dann waren sie ganz oben, am Ende der Rampe, angelangt. Und hier begriffen sie auch endlich, warum es die Dame gerade an diesen Ort gezogen hatte. Denn dort oben, inmitten einer Schülergruppe, stand der, für den sie diesen ganzen Aufwand getrieben hatten: Holger Wesel, der designierte neue Vorsitzende des Verteidigungsausschusses.
Sie sahen, wie die Dame sich zu ihm hinneigte und ihm, auf das Flugblatt weisend, etwas ins Ohr flüsterte. War sie also die geheimnisvolle Frau im Niqab, die als Vermittlerin bei dem Kontakt zu Maxim und Tatjana fungiert hatte?
Der Abgeordnete verzog kurz seine Breitmaulfroschlippen, seine Augen zuckten unter den Brillengläsern wie die eines Insekts, das den Schatten eines Vogels vorüberfliegen spürt. Dann tuschelte er noch etwas mit der Dame. Offenbar handelte es sich bei ihr um eine jener Model-Politikerinnen, durch deren Förderung die Altherrenriege der Partei die Erfüllung der Frauenquote mit ihrem Macho-Bedürfnis nach wohlgeformten Frauenkörpern verband.
Während seine junge Kollegin sich, beruhigt von den Worten ihres Förderers, zum Gehen wandte, widmete dieser sich wieder der Schülergruppe. Offenbar inszenierte er sich gerade als Politiker zum Anfassen, der als netter Onkel von nebenan, der sogar mit dem gemeinen Volk redet. Aktuell geschah dies anscheinend im Rahmen einer Reichstagsbesichtigung.
„Na toll“, murmelte Julia. „Das Märchen lässt ihn völlig kalt – und jetzt?“
Fragend sah sie Lutz an, aber der zuckte auch nur mit den Schultern. Da hörten sie plötzlich von weiter unten jemanden rufen: „Halt! Im Namen des Gesetzes! Holger Wesel: Sie sind verhaftet wegen des Mordes an Richard Groß und wegen versuchten Mordes in zwei Fällen.“

Amazonen-Power

Sie drehten sich verdutzt um – und sahen, wie Leona in ihrer Cop-Verkleidung die Rampe hinaufstürmte. An ihrer Seite erkannte Lidia Afanasjewna noch fünf weitere Furien – offenbar Kolleginnen von Leona, die ebenfalls ihre Polizeimaskerade angelegt hatten. Anscheinend hatten sie vor dem Plenarsaal auf Leona gewartet und waren den anderen dann alle zusammen gefolgt, nachdem sie sich umgezogen hatten.
Mit offenem Mund verfolgte der Breitmaulfrosch den Aufmarsch der uniformierten Amazonen. Oben angelangt, belehrte ihn Leona mit filmreifer Wortgewandtheit: „Alles, was Sie von jetzt an sagen, kann gegen Sie verwendet werden. Sie haben das Recht zu schweigen und dürfen sich sogar einen dieser Rechtsverdreher besorgen – aber der kann Ihnen jetzt auch nicht mehr helfen!“
Die Verwirrung des Abgeordneten währte nur kurz. Dann verwuchs er wieder ganz mit der Maske des Staatsmanns, der eine Begegnung mit dem Volk zelebriert. „Ach so – es ist ja gerade Karnevalszeit“, lachte er gekünstelt. „Das hätte ich hier in Berlin fast vergessen! Früher, am Rhein, wäre mir das nicht passiert. Wirklich eine sehr gelungene Verkleidung …“
„Du weißt ganz genau, dass das mit Fasching nicht das Geringste zu tun hat!“ fauchte Leona ihn an.
„Ja, du Fiesling!“ sprang ihr eine ihrer Mitstreiterinnen zur Seite, die sich die Uniform eines französischen Gendarmen übergestreift hatte.
„Jetzt steh doch wenigstens zu deinen Taten!“ forderte eine andere ihn auf.
Der Abgeordnete versuchte sie mit kalter Routine abzuwimmeln. „Also, meine Damen“, verkündete er, das Wort ‚Damen‘ betont ironisch aussprechend, „das war ja wirklich ein sehr lustiger Auftritt. Aber wenn Sie gestatten, würde ich jetzt gerne mein Gespräch mit den jungen Leuten hier fortsetzen. Ich habe nachher noch einen anderen Termin, also beenden wir jetzt mal die Vorstellung. Sie werden doch sicher nicht wollen, dass ich den Sicherheitsdienst rufe.“
Interessiert sahen die Schüler – Sechst-, vielleicht auch schon Siebtklässler, schätzte Lidia Afanasjewna – dem Treiben zu. So spannend hatten sie sich die Führung durch den Reichstag sicher nicht vorgestellt! Auch Julia und ihre Mutter standen wie unbeteiligte Zuschauer daneben, selbst Lutz griff nicht ein. Warum auch? Sie hatten jetzt ja ohnehin nichts mehr zu verlieren.
Leona hatte sich unterdessen mit der ganzen Pracht ihres Sophia-Loren-Busens vor dem Politiker aufgebaut. „Du Würstchen versuchst noch, uns zu drohen?“ empörte sie sich.
„Das ist Beamtenbeleidigung!“ schimpfte eine Mitkämpferin im Vopo-Look der untergegangenen DDR. „Dafür kriegst du noch ein paar extra Monate im Bau aufgebrummt!“
Indigniert griff der Abgeordnete in die Innentasche seines Jacketts und holte sein Smartphone heraus. „Gut – wenn ihr es nicht anders wollt …“
Während er offenbar Anstalten machte, die Nummer des Sicherheitsdienstes zu wählen, rief Leona ihren Mit-Furien zu: „Der Kerl versucht, verräterische Daten zu löschen! Sofort Beweismittel sichern!“
Gemeinsam stürzten sie sich auf den Verdächtigen und machten sich daran, ihm das Smartphone zu entwenden. „Was fällt Ihnen ein?“ wehrte sich dieser. „Loslassen! Das geht jetzt wirklich zu weit, das wird Konsequenzen haben, ich werde …“
Er versuchte zunächst, das Smartphone von sich wegzuhalten, dann es wieder in seinem Jackett zu verstauen – aber gegen die geballte Amazonenmacht war er machtlos. Schon nach kurzer Zeit hatten diese das vermeintliche Corpus Delicti in ihre Gewalt gebracht.
„Jetzt unternehmen Sie doch etwas!“ forderte der in die Enge Getriebene die Umstehenden auf. „Wollen Sie etwa zusehen, wie diese durchgeknallten Tunten mich beklauen?“
Da aber hatte Leona sich schon durch die Kontaktliste des Handys gescrollt. „Ah!“ triumphierte sie. „Da haben wir’s ja: Maxim Gudkow! Mit dem wollen wir doch mal ein kleines Pläuschchen halten.“
Sie drückte auf die Wähltaste und stellte den Lautsprecher ein. Kurz darauf meldete sich Maxim: „Ja? Gudkow?“
Leona räusperte sich, dann sagte sie mit piepsiger Fistelstimme: „Hier ist Ihre Kontaktperson – Sie wissen schon: die mit dem schönen Niqab. Ich wollte nur mal nachhören, wann endlich diese Tunte Leona beseitigt wird.“
Maxims Stimme klang leicht gereizt. „Darüber haben wir doch gestern schon geredet! Die Lieferung mit der Spezialmischung ist eingetroffen, es ist alles vorbereitet. Aber ich muss halt warten, bis die Schlampe sich wieder mit Stoff eindeckt. Sie haben doch selbst gesagt, dass ich alles vermeiden soll, was Verdacht erregen könnte!“

Verfolgungsjagd unter der Reichstagskuppel

Leona beendete das Gespräch, dann rief sie in die Runde: „Haben das alle gehört? Ich denke, damit ist der Verbrecher jetzt endgültig überführt!“
Mit sicherem Griff zauberte sie aus der Jackentasche ihrer Uniform die Handschellen hervor. Als sie sie dem Verbrecher anlegen wollte, musste sie jedoch feststellen, dass dieser verschwunden war. Während alle das Smartphone fixiert hatten, hatte er sich unbemerkt einen Weg durch die Menschentraube gebahnt. Nun bewegte er sich mit schnellen Schritten über die Rampe nach unten. Er hatte schon einen beträchtlichen Vorsprung – es würde schwer werden, ihn noch einzuholen.
„Los! Hinterher!“ schrie Leona und nahm, gefolgt von dem Schwarm der anderen Amazonen, die Verfolgung auf.
Aber wo war Lutz abgeblieben? Hatte er Wesels Verschwinden etwa schon früher bemerkt und war ihm bereits auf den Fersen? Lidia Afanasjewna suchte mit den Augen den Besucherstrom ab – aber von Lutz war nichts zu sehen. Erst als sie sich wieder umdrehte, entdeckte sie ihn inmitten der Schülergruppe. Gerade beugte er sich zu einem im Rollstuhl sitzenden Jungen herunter und flüsterte ihm etwas ins Ohr.
Lidia Afanasjewna sah, wie der Junge grinste und sich dann mit seinem Rollstuhl in Bewegung setzte. Gleichzeitig formte Lutz seine Hände zu einem Trichter und rief durch das improvisierte Megaphon ins weite Rund der Reichstagskuppel: „Achtung, Achtung! Dies ist ein Polizeieinsatz! Bitte treten Sie zur Seite und machen Sie eine Gasse für unser Ermittlerteam frei!“
Der Lautsprecher-Imperativ verfehlte seine Wirkung nicht. Alle sprangen sofort zur Seite und bildeten wie beim Marathonlauf eine Gasse für die vorbeifliegenden Helden. Schon nach kurzer Zeit hatte der Junge mit seinem Rollstuhl die uniformierten Furien eingeholt. Er fuhr sehr sicher, legte sich in die Kurven wie ein Motorradfahrer und umkurvte geschickt alle Hindernisse. Vielleicht trainierte er ja regelmäßig in einem Basketballteam oder nahm an Langstreckenrennen teil.
Weit vor dem Ende der Rampe hatte er den Flüchtigen eingeholt. Von oben, wo Lidia Afanasjewna mit Lutz und Julia wartete, war nur ein Quietschen zu hören, gefolgt von einem Geräusch, das klang, als würde jemand zu Boden fallen. Kurz darauf vernahm Lidia Afanasjewna das atemlose Kriegsgeheul der Amazonen.
„Die Gerechtigkeit hat gesiegt! Nieder mit dem Verbrecher!“ hallte Leonas Stimme durch die Kuppel.
„Make love, not war!“ rief eine ihrer Mitstreiterinnen in der Euphorie des Triumphs.
„Ja! Make love, not war!“ wiederholten die anderen im Chor.

English Version

Decisive Battle in the Reichstag

The flyer action in German Parliament seems to be a failure at first. But then Leona’s unexpected intervention saves the day.

Gladiator Fight in Parliament

The visit to parliament was more exhausting than Lidia Afanasyevna had expected. If she hadn’t been kept awake by the thought of their flyer campaign, she would probably have long since fallen asleep.
No matter how hard she tried to concentrate on the speeches of the parliamentarians – she just didn’t succeed. The stereotyped intonations, the rehearsed excitement, the finger-in-the-air chopping as if trying to impale an imaginary opponent, the staccato of the words, artfully interrupted by pauses to elicit applause – all this distracted her so much from the content of the speeches that after only a few minutes it was impossible for her to tell what the speaker who had just left the lectern was actually so upset about.
It was as if she were watching the debates behind a soundproof glass wall, like when you turn off the sound on television. Mouths snapped open and shut, hands clasped the lectern in the posture of a recovering vulture, hair teetered in the chicken-like rhythm of bobbing heads.
Leaving aside the content of the speeches, the spectators were undoubtedly treated to an impressive spectacle. And the speakers indeed behaved like actors, thought Lidia Afanasyevna. When they stood behind the lectern, they presented themselves as tribunes of the people; with the fervour of Spartacus they railed against their opponents, who would lead this parliament, this country, Europe – indeed the whole world! – to the abyss. But as soon as they left the arena and disappeared into the backdrop again, they whispered with the other gladiator mimes as if they were competing with them in a collegial contest about who had delivered the most convincing performance that day.
What was astonishing, however, was that the performances of the people’s representatives seemed so amateurish despite their frequent appearances. Lidia Afanasyevna wondered whether it would be better to send them to drama school for a while before letting them take the lectern. Furthermore, she thought, it would have been better to leave the casting of the roles to a neutral casting agency.
As it was, things looked a bit like at a children’s birthday party: everyone wanted to be the noble knight who rescues the princess and saves the kingdom of the starving king from ruin. No one confessed to being the evil dragon at the bottom of his heart, the one who wants to usurp the kingdom by force.

Operation „Confetti Rain“

Lidia Afanasyevna looked around for Igor, Julia and Leona. They too seemed to be waiting impatiently for Lutz to finally relieve them of the speech marathon. But he still made no move to signal the start of the action. Apparently, he hoped that Holger Wesel would personally attend the session or that the plenary hall would at least fill up a bit more.
But the opposite happened: the longer the debates went on, the fewer chairs were occupied. And there was still no sign of Mr. Wesel.
So Lutz finally leaned over to Igor and whispered in his ear: „Well then – Operation ‚Confetti Rain‘ can begin.“
Igor nodded. Carefully, he rose from his seat and stepped to the railing of the visitors‘ gallery. There he took out the flyers he had stowed under his shirt and divided them into three piles. One by one, he threw them into the plenary hall from different places of the railing.
Now, at last, there was life in the House! Lidia Afanasyevna had the impression that not only the other spectators, but also the remaining MPs were grateful for the interruption of the monotonous singsong at the lectern. Even the parliamentarian who was currently acting as the precentor paused in his speech after a brief moment of defiant stuttering.
All eyes were on poor Igor. Steadfastly, like an emperor from ancient times, he remained on his imperial mound. As expected, it took only a few seconds before the hands of the security guards clasped his arms.
„Well then, buster: Come along!“ they snarled at him. And when Igor looked around at his fellow combatants with a somewhat uncertain smile, one of them added: „Just you wait! You’ll soon stop laughing!“
„Yes, I know,“ Igor confessed ruefully. „I shouldn’t have disturbed the parliamentary sleep!“
How quick-witted he suddenly was, Lidia Afanasyevna thought. Or had he thought up the words beforehand?
While Igor was being led away, the others were anxiously watching what was happening in the plenary hall. Unfortunately, the high lords and ladies seemed more interested in the alleged rebel than in the cause of the uproar. With lustful shudders, the people’s representatives looked at the representative of the people, this zoo animal that had broken out of its cage, this predator they preferred not to meet in the wild. The flyers they only paid attention to insofar as they had to lift their legs or even stand up briefly while the ushers went through the rows and picked up the remains of the confetti rain.

The Deputy with the Wide-Mouth Frog Lips

Everything seemed to be for nothing. They might as well have saved themselves all the trouble! But then Lidia Afanasyevna’s gaze fell on a younger woman who had been sitting at the very front of the hall, close to the lectern. She had risen from her seat and, standing next to the rows of chairs, was studying the flyer attentively.
Lutz had also already spotted the woman. As she moved towards the exit and was about to leave the plenary hall, he nodded briefly to the others: „Come on – follow me! Let’s see why the lady is suddenly in such a hurry.“
To their surprise, the woman did not walk towards the meeting rooms, nor did she pull out her smartphone to tell anyone about the flyer, but strode straight in the direction of the Reichstag dome. This was an advantage for her pursuers in that they had access to the dome themselves. However, it remained unclear why the lady wanted to reach this place so quickly. Did her sudden departure have nothing to do with the flyer in the end?
As usual, the ramp winding up the glass dome was teeming with sightseers. An ideal place for a pursuit: It was simply impossible to determine who was following whom here. All you had to do was watch out that you didn’t get distracted by the impressive view over the city and lose sight of the person you were following.
„By the way, where on earth did Leona go?“ asked Julia suddenly.
Lidia Afanasyevna looked around. In fact, there was no sign of Leona anywhere. They must have lost her in the stream of visitors. But that couldn’t be helped now. They had to stay on the lady’s heels, Leona was not needed for that.
Only a few more meters, then they had reached the very top, the end of the ramp. And there they finally understood why the lady had been drawn to this particular place. Among a group of schoolchildren, they spotted the man for whom they had gone to all this trouble: Holger Wesel, the designated new chairman of the defense committee.
They saw the lady bend over to him and whisper something in his ear, pointing to the flyer. So was she the mysterious woman in the niqab who had acted as an intermediary in contacting Maxim and Tatyana?
The deputy briefly puckered his wide-mouth frog lips, his eyes twitching under his glasses like those of an insect that senses the shadow of a bird flying by. Then he kept on whispering with the lady for a few seconds. Apparently she was one of those model politicians whose promotion enabled the party’s old guard to combine the fulfilment of the women’s quota with their macho need for shapely female bodies.
While his young protégé, reassured by the words of her benefactor, turned to leave, the latter focused on the group of pupils again. Apparently, he was staging himself as a politician close to the voters, a nice uncle from next door who even talks to the common people. Currently, this apparently happened in the context of a sightseeing tour in the Reichstag.
„Great,“ Julia muttered. „The fairytale doesn’t bother him at all – and now?“
She looked questioningly at Lutz, but her commanding officer also just shrugged his shoulders. Then suddenly they heard someone shouting from further down: „Stop! In the name of justice! Holger Wesel: We arrest you for the murder of Richard Gross and for two counts of attempted murder.“

Amazonian Power

They all turned around, puzzled – and saw Leona storming up the ramp in her cop disguise. At her side, Lidia Afanasyevna recognised five more Furies – obviously Leona’s colleagues who had also donned their police masquerade. Apparently they had waited for Leona outside the plenary hall and then followed the others all together after they had changed their clothes.
Stunned, the wide-mouthed frog followed the parade of the uniformed Amazons. Once at the top, Leona declared with movie-like eloquence: „Anything you say from now on can be used against you. You have the right to remain silent and may even get one of those shysters – but that won’t help you now either!“
The MP’s confusion lasted only a short time. Then he grew again completely into the mask of the statesman celebrating a meeting with the people. „Oh, I see – it’s carnival time,“ he laughed affectedly. „I hadn’t thought of that here in Berlin, where they don’t celebrate Carnival that much. In the old days, when we still had meetings on the Rhine, that wouldn’t have happened to me. Really a very felicitous disguise …“
„You know very well that this has nothing to do with Carnival!“ Leona hissed at him.
„Exactly, you creep!“ affirmed one of her comrades-in-arms, who had put on the uniform of a French gendarme.
„At least stand up for what you’ve done!“ another urged him.
The deputy tried to brush them off with cold routine. „Well, ladies,“ he stated, pronouncing the word ‚ladies‘ ironically, „that was really a very funny performance. But if you don’t mind, I’d like to continue my conversation with the young people here. I have another appointment later, so let’s finish the show now. Surely you don’t want me to call the security.“
The pupils – sixth, maybe seventh graders, Lidia Afanasyevna estimated – watched the goings-on with interest. They certainly hadn’t imagined the tour of the Reichstag to be this exciting! Julia and her mother also stood by like uninvolved spectators, even Lutz did not intervene. After all, why should he? They had nothing to lose now anyway.
Unflinchingly, Leona stood in front of the politician with all the splendour of her Sophia Loren bosom. „You pipsqueak are still trying to threaten us?“ she scolded.
„That’s insulting a civil servant!“ railed a fellow campaigner in the vigilante look of the defunct GDR. „You’ll get a few extra months in jail for that!“
Indignantly, the MP reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out his smartphone. „All right – if you want it that way …“
While he was apparently about to dial the security number, Leona shouted to her fellow Furies: „This guy is trying to delete treasonous data! Secure evidence immediately!“
Together they pounced on the suspect and set about snatching his smartphone. „What the hell are you doing?“ the MP resisted. „Let go! This is really going too far now, there will be consequences, this won’t go unpunished, I will …“
He first tried to hold the smartphone away from him, then to stow it back in his jacket – but against the combined Amazon power he was helpless. After only a short time, they had taken control of the supposed corpus delicti.
„Why doesn’t anyone take action?“ the cornered man asked the bystanders. „Do you want to stand by and watch these crazy fags rob me?“
By then, however, Leona had already scrolled through the phone’s contact list. „Ah!“ she triumphed. „Here we are: Maxim Gudkov! Let’s have a little chat with him.“
She pressed the dial button and turned on the loudspeaker. A moment later Maxim answered: „Hello? Gudkov?“
Leona cleared her throat, then said in a squeaky falsetto voice: „Here’s your contact – you know, the girl with the beautiful niqab. I just wanted to check when that faggot Leona is finally going to be eliminated.“
Maxim’s voice sounded slightly irritated. „We already talked about that yesterday! The delivery with the special mixture has arrived, everything is prepared. But I’ll have to wait until the bitch stocks up on stuff again. You said yourself that I should avoid anything that could arouse suspicion!“

A High Speed Chase under the Reichstag Dome

Leona ended the conversation, then called out to the group, „Did everyone hear that? I think the crook is definitely convicted now!“
Determined, she pulled out the handcuffs from the pocket of her uniform. When she wanted to put them on the criminal, however, she found that he had disappeared. While everyone had fixed their eyes on the smartphone, he had slipped unnoticed through the crowd of people. Now he was moving down the ramp with quick steps. He already had a considerable lead – it would be hard to catch up with him.
„Go, comrades! Follow him!“ Leona shouted and took up the pursuit with the swarm of the other Amazons behind her.
But where had Lutz gone? Had he noticed Wesel’s disappearance earlier and was already on his trail? Lidia Afanasyevna scanned the stream of visitors with her eyes – but there was no sign of Lutz. Only when she turned around again did she spot him in the middle of the group of schoolchildren. He was bending down to a boy sitting in a wheelchair and whispering something in his ear.
Lidia Afanasyevna saw the boy grin and then start moving with his wheelchair. At the same time, Lutz formed his hands into a funnel and shouted through the improvised megaphone into the wide round of the Reichstag dome: „Attention, attention! This is a police operation! Please step aside and clear an alley for our team of investigators!“
The loudspeaker command did not miss its effect. Everyone immediately jumped to the side and formed a lane for the heroes flying past, just like in a marathon. After a short time, the boy with his wheelchair had caught up with the uniformed Furies. He drove very safely, took the curves like a motorcyclist and skilfully avoided all obstacles. Maybe he trained regularly in a basketball team or took part in long-distance races.
Far before the end of the ramp, he had caught up with the fugitive. From above, where Lidia Afanasyevna was waiting with Lutz and Julia, only a squeak could be heard, followed by a noise that sounded like someone falling to the ground. Shortly afterwards Lidia Afanasyevna heard the breathless war howl of the Amazons.
„Justice has triumphed! Down with the criminal!“ echoed Leona’s voice through the dome.
„Make love, not war!“ cried one of her comrades-in-arms in the euphoria of triumph.
„Yeah! Make love, not war!“ the others repeated in chorus.

The visit to parliament was more exhausting than Lidia Afanasyevna had expected. If she hadn’t been kept awake by the thought of their flyer campaign, she would probably have long since fallen asleep.
No matter how hard she tried to concentrate on the speeches of the parliamentarians – she just didn’t succeed. The stereotyped intonations, the rehearsed excitement, the finger-in-the-air chopping as if trying to impale an imaginary opponent, the staccato of the words, artfully interrupted by pauses to elicit applause – all this distracted her so much from the content of the speeches that after only a few minutes it was impossible for her to tell what the speaker who had just left the lectern was actually so upset about.
It was as if she were watching the debates behind a soundproof glass wall, like when you turn off the sound on television. Mouths snapped open and shut, hands clasped the lectern in the posture of a recovering vulture, hair teetered in the chicken-like rhythm of bobbing heads.
Leaving aside the content of the speeches, the spectators were undoubtedly treated to an impressive spectacle. And the speakers indeed behaved like actors, thought Lidia Afanasyevna. When they stood behind the lectern, they presented themselves as tribunes of the people; with the fervour of Spartacus they railed against their opponents, who would lead this parliament, this country, Europe – indeed the whole world! – to the abyss. But as soon as they left the arena and disappeared into the backdrop again, they whispered with the other gladiator mimes as if they were competing with them in a collegial contest about who had delivered the most convincing performance that day.
What was astonishing, however, was that the performances of the people’s representatives seemed so amateurish despite their frequent appearances. Lidia Afanasyevna wondered whether it would be better to send them to drama school for a while before letting them take the lectern. Furthermore, she thought, it would have been better to leave the casting of the roles to a neutral casting agency.
As it was, things looked a bit like at a children’s birthday party: everyone wanted to be the noble knight who rescues the princess and saves the kingdom of the starving king from ruin. No one confessed to being the evil dragon at the bottom of his heart, the one who wants to usurp the kingdom by force.

Operation „Confetti Rain“

Lidia Afanasyevna looked around for Igor, Julia and Leona. They too seemed to be waiting impatiently for Lutz to finally relieve them of the speech marathon. But he still made no move to signal the start of the action. Apparently, he hoped that Holger Wesel would personally attend the session or that the plenary hall would at least fill up a bit more.
But the opposite happened: the longer the debates went on, the fewer chairs were occupied. And there was still no sign of Mr. Wesel.
So Lutz finally leaned over to Igor and whispered in his ear: „Well then – Operation ‚Confetti Rain‘ can begin.“
Igor nodded. Carefully, he rose from his seat and stepped to the railing of the visitors‘ gallery. There he took out the flyers he had stowed under his shirt and divided them into three piles. One by one, he threw them into the plenary hall from different places of the railing.
Now, at last, there was life in the House! Lidia Afanasyevna had the impression that not only the other spectators, but also the remaining MPs were grateful for the interruption of the monotonous singsong at the lectern. Even the parliamentarian who was currently acting as the precentor paused in his speech after a brief moment of defiant stuttering.
All eyes were on poor Igor. Steadfastly, like an emperor from ancient times, he remained on his imperial mound. As expected, it took only a few seconds before the hands of the security guards clasped his arms.
„Well then, buster: Come along!“ they snarled at him. And when Igor looked around at his fellow combatants with a somewhat uncertain smile, one of them added: „Just you wait! You’ll soon stop laughing!“
„Yes, I know,“ Igor confessed ruefully. „I shouldn’t have disturbed the parliamentary sleep!“
How quick-witted he suddenly was, Lidia Afanasyevna thought. Or had he thought up the words beforehand?
While Igor was being led away, the others were anxiously watching what was happening in the plenary hall. Unfortunately, the high lords and ladies seemed more interested in the alleged rebel than in the cause of the uproar. With lustful shudders, the people’s representatives looked at the representative of the people, this zoo animal that had broken out of its cage, this predator they preferred not to meet in the wild. The flyers they only paid attention to insofar as they had to lift their legs or even stand up briefly while the ushers went through the rows and picked up the remains of the confetti rain.

The Deputy with the Wide-Mouth Frog Lips

Everything seemed to be for nothing. They might as well have saved themselves all the trouble! But then Lidia Afanasyevna’s gaze fell on a younger woman who had been sitting at the very front of the hall, close to the lectern. She had risen from her seat and, standing next to the rows of chairs, was studying the flyer attentively.
Lutz had also already spotted the woman. As she moved towards the exit and was about to leave the plenary hall, he nodded briefly to the others: „Come on – follow me! Let’s see why the lady is suddenly in such a hurry.“
To their surprise, the woman did not walk towards the meeting rooms, nor did she pull out her smartphone to tell anyone about the flyer, but strode straight in the direction of the Reichstag dome. This was an advantage for her pursuers in that they had access to the dome themselves. However, it remained unclear why the lady wanted to reach this place so quickly. Did her sudden departure have nothing to do with the flyer in the end?
As usual, the ramp winding up the glass dome was teeming with sightseers. An ideal place for a pursuit: It was simply impossible to determine who was following whom here. All you had to do was watch out that you didn’t get distracted by the impressive view over the city and lose sight of the person you were following.
„By the way, where on earth did Leona go?“ asked Julia suddenly.
Lidia Afanasyevna looked around. In fact, there was no sign of Leona anywhere. They must have lost her in the stream of visitors. But that couldn’t be helped now. They had to stay on the lady’s heels, Leona was not needed for that.
Only a few more meters, then they had reached the very top, the end of the ramp. And there they finally understood why the lady had been drawn to this particular place. Among a group of schoolchildren, they spotted the man for whom they had gone to all this trouble: Holger Wesel, the designated new chairman of the defense committee.
They saw the lady bend over to him and whisper something in his ear, pointing to the flyer. So was she the mysterious woman in the niqab who had acted as an intermediary in contacting Maxim and Tatyana?
The deputy briefly puckered his wide-mouth frog lips, his eyes twitching under his glasses like those of an insect that senses the shadow of a bird flying by. Then he kept on whispering with the lady for a few seconds. Apparently she was one of those model politicians whose promotion enabled the party’s old guard to combine the fulfilment of the women’s quota with their macho need for shapely female bodies.
While his young protégé, reassured by the words of her benefactor, turned to leave, the latter focused on the group of pupils again. Apparently, he was staging himself as a politician close to the voters, a nice uncle from next door who even talks to the common people. Currently, this apparently happened in the context of a sightseeing tour in the Reichstag.
„Great,“ Julia muttered. „The fairytale doesn’t bother him at all – and now?“
She looked questioningly at Lutz, but her commanding officer also just shrugged his shoulders. Then suddenly they heard someone shouting from further down: „Stop! In the name of justice! Holger Wesel: We arrest you for the murder of Richard Gross and for two counts of attempted murder.“

Amazonian Power

They all turned around, puzzled – and saw Leona storming up the ramp in her cop disguise. At her side, Lidia Afanasyevna recognised five more Furies – obviously Leona’s colleagues who had also donned their police masquerade. Apparently they had waited for Leona outside the plenary hall and then followed the others all together after they had changed their clothes.
Stunned, the wide-mouthed frog followed the parade of the uniformed Amazons. Once at the top, Leona declared with movie-like eloquence: „Anything you say from now on can be used against you. You have the right to remain silent and may even get one of those shysters – but that won’t help you now either!“
The MP’s confusion lasted only a short time. Then he grew again completely into the mask of the statesman celebrating a meeting with the people. „Oh, I see – it’s carnival time,“ he laughed affectedly. „I hadn’t thought of that here in Berlin, where they don’t celebrate Carnival that much. In the old days, when we still had meetings on the Rhine, that wouldn’t have happened to me. Really a very felicitous disguise …“
„You know very well that this has nothing to do with Carnival!“ Leona hissed at him.
„Exactly, you creep!“ affirmed one of her comrades-in-arms, who had put on the uniform of a French gendarme.
„At least stand up for what you’ve done!“ another urged him.
The deputy tried to brush them off with cold routine. „Well, ladies,“ he stated, pronouncing the word ‚ladies‘ ironically, „that was really a very funny performance. But if you don’t mind, I’d like to continue my conversation with the young people here. I have another appointment later, so let’s finish the show now. Surely you don’t want me to call the security.“
The pupils – sixth, maybe seventh graders, Lidia Afanasyevna estimated – watched the goings-on with interest. They certainly hadn’t imagined the tour of the Reichstag to be this exciting! Julia and her mother also stood by like uninvolved spectators, even Lutz did not intervene. After all, why should he? They had nothing to lose now anyway.
Unflinchingly, Leona stood in front of the politician with all the splendour of her Sophia Loren bosom. „You pipsqueak are still trying to threaten us?“ she scolded.
„That’s insulting a civil servant!“ railed a fellow campaigner in the vigilante look of the defunct GDR. „You’ll get a few extra months in jail for that!“
Indignantly, the MP reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out his smartphone. „All right – if you want it that way …“
While he was apparently about to dial the security number, Leona shouted to her fellow Furies: „This guy is trying to delete treasonous data! Secure evidence immediately!“
Together they pounced on the suspect and set about snatching his smartphone. „What the hell are you doing?“ the MP resisted. „Let go! This is really going too far now, there will be consequences, this won’t go unpunished, I will …“
He first tried to hold the smartphone away from him, then to stow it back in his jacket – but against the combined Amazon power he was helpless. After only a short time, they had taken control of the supposed corpus delicti.
„Why doesn’t anyone take action?“ the cornered man asked the bystanders. „Do you want to stand by and watch these crazy fags rob me?“
By then, however, Leona had already scrolled through the phone’s contact list. „Ah!“ she triumphed. „Here we are: Maxim Gudkov! Let’s have a little chat with him.“
She pressed the dial button and turned on the loudspeaker. A moment later Maxim answered: „Hello? Gudkov?“
Leona cleared her throat, then said in a squeaky falsetto voice: „Here’s your contact – you know, the girl with the beautiful niqab. I just wanted to check when that faggot Leona is finally going to be eliminated.“
Maxim’s voice sounded slightly irritated. „We already talked about that yesterday! The delivery with the special mixture has arrived, everything is prepared. But I’ll have to wait until the bitch stocks up on stuff again. You said yourself that I should avoid anything that could arouse suspicion!“

A High Speed Chase under the Reichstag Dome

Leona ended the conversation, then called out to the group, „Did everyone hear that? I think the crook is definitely convicted now!“
Determined, she pulled out the handcuffs from the pocket of her uniform. When she wanted to put them on the criminal, however, she found that he had disappeared. While everyone had fixed their eyes on the smartphone, he had slipped unnoticed through the crowd of people. Now he was moving down the ramp with quick steps. He already had a considerable lead – it would be hard to catch up with him.
„Go, comrades! Follow him!“ Leona shouted and took up the pursuit with the swarm of the other Amazons behind her.
But where had Lutz gone? Had he noticed Wesel’s disappearance earlier and was already on his trail? Lidia Afanasyevna scanned the stream of visitors with her eyes – but there was no sign of Lutz. Only when she turned around again did she spot him in the middle of the group of schoolchildren. He was bending down to a boy sitting in a wheelchair and whispering something in his ear.
Lidia Afanasyevna saw the boy grin and then start moving with his wheelchair. At the same time, Lutz formed his hands into a funnel and shouted through the improvised megaphone into the wide round of the Reichstag dome: „Attention, attention! This is a police operation! Please step aside and clear an alley for our team of investigators!“
The loudspeaker command did not miss its effect. Everyone immediately jumped to the side and formed a lane for the heroes flying past, just like in a marathon. After a short time, the boy with his wheelchair had caught up with the uniformed Furies. He drove very safely, took the curves like a motorcyclist and skilfully avoided all obstacles. Maybe he trained regularly in a basketball team or took part in long-distance races.
Far before the end of the ramp, he had caught up with the fugitive. From above, where Lidia Afanasyevna was waiting with Lutz and Julia, only a squeak could be heard, followed by a noise that sounded like someone falling to the ground. Shortly afterwards Lidia Afanasyevna heard the breathless war howl of the Amazons.
„Justice has triumphed! Down with the criminal!“ echoed Leona’s voice through the dome.
„Make love, not war!“ cried one of her comrades-in-arms in the euphoria of triumph.
„Yeah! Make love, not war!“ the others repeated in chorus.

Bilder / Images: PixelAnarchy: Reichstag Berlin (Pixabay); Mario Vogelsteller: Parlament (Pixabay)

2 Antworten auf „Entscheidungsschlacht im Reichstag / Decisive Battle in the Reichstag

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